chess and life struggle

chess and life strugglePQ4, that means Pawn to Queen 4. That was my first move when I played chess against my rival, my uncle Narcing that time. We often play chess. Everyday if I’m not mistaken, after all the to-do things in the morning. In the front of the kindergarten school right in front of our house, where his wife, my aunt Remy was working as a preschool teacher. He brought with him a small wooden chair for him to have a clear and nice view of the battle between two kingdoms that is about to start in a couple of seconds.



I started playing chess when I was ten years old. Too old if compared to Kasparov’s age when he first played the game. I was born with weak lungs and because of that I am advised not to play any games that may require running, jumping and the like for I get tired and got sick very easily. In short, I’m not fond of playing outdoor games. That’s why my favorite game is chess.



To some chess pieces are just pieces of wood carved to imitate the symbols of the officials of realms in older times. That sounds pretty normal, but for me, when I started placing my pieces into battle, it entails two important aspects of life: decision and consequence.



“Hey its your turn…” he annoyingly whispered. “How can you win the game if you don’t move and lose your time?”



“I’m sorry uncle. I’m just thinking of my next move. Here it is.” placing my bishop in the center.



That’s what it is all about. You should make your move. If you want to succeed in the end then you must act now. Fortune won’t come in your way.



Every move played in chess especially in master games, every move us actually a part of an overall strategy of the player. Just like in reality to be able to reach your dreams, you must act and move accordingly to your purpose.



I dreamed to be a computer engineer when I finished my studies. I know that it was a tough one to dream that high but who knows? I may be one sometime. I pursued my college study in a university of student advocates. Yes, and I am not ashamed of that fact. I am not afraid on what others may say. I am not afraid of them stereotyping every student coming from that university. For me it’s the student that makes the university proud, not the university that makes proud of the student.



Everything’s going fine and accordingly. I don’t get low grades and failing marks. I also get involved in organizations that helped me in strengthening my knowledge and skills. I am known by my batch mates as one of the most studious one in our class. As you can see everything seems to be fine. But not as long as I thought.



Just before the year of 2006 end my mother got sick. At first it may be a simple fever or headache that everybody may have. It was a shocking truth for me when she was diagnosed to have a liver problem, and I think that’s serious. Her appetite drops down as well as her health. She was known in our neighborhood as a very energetic and friendly woman taking good care of her husband and her two children. Everybody knows that she would sacrifice everything for us. But look at her now. She was having so much difficulty in standing up from lying in bed. If not for my help she won’t be able to stand anymore.



That was in December of that year when I felt urgency inside me to send my mom in the hospital to give her proper medication and to lessen her pain. But she refused to cause she is worrying about my studies that I can’t go to school if she would be hospitalized. At that tome though she hardly not agreeing on my suggestion, I have made up my mind. What matters most to me? The time that might lost to me for not going to school or the health of the person that had almost sacrificed herself for nine months just to put herself in sudden death when giving birth to me? No instincts might give me the right thing to do but the love that I felt for her as my mom.



“Check!!!”, uncle Narcing shouted creating some fear inside of me because my King might be brought into hostile position and I might lose the game. As a player’s instinct, I move my King to safer square after couple of seconds of thinking.



We celebrated Christmas time and New Year not that gay as the succeeding years because of what happened to us. Since time of my birth I always idolize my dad for having the strength and perseverance that I see in him. Though most of the times we experienced troubles of having so much debts in the bank and in our relatives, I didn’t saw him cry. But for now, I say I idolized him more.



He cried in our front when I told him my plan of dropping my subjects. I understand him as a father. He wanted me to fulfill my dreams not having to sacrifice anything as long as he lives. But there’s nothing we can do. My little sister at that time is graduating in high school I am the only that can assist my mom.



A few moves later, I think that my opponent is planning something to take my king down. And to avoid that defeat I have to sacrifice my rook. Although I am not that sure that I will win the game for doing that, I must do that to be able to stay alive.



January of the next year came and it was the right time to pursue my plans. The day before I send my mom to hospital I went to school and announced to my classmates my decision and tell our profs have my subjects dropped. At first I know they were surprised about that. Just the same as me, I’m also surprised about their reaction.



I brought my mom to the hospital having hopes that she will get well there. But as days went through, things got worst. She aptly loses her balance, her appetite and her blood pressure went down.



At that time every Sundays I went to our barangay hall to play chess. I was one of the players there. I joined many chess tournaments before but this one is very different. I had made it through the eliminations just one more fight to win then I’m in for the semifinals. Just like what I dreamed before. That last fight, it was Sunday, January 21, 2007 the most memorable day for me. I was defeated for default. I lose the game cause I didn’t show up in the fight. I lose my ticket for the semis. And that was because of more important thing to me. That very day, my mom died…



“Hahaha!!! Checkmate!!!”, it was too late. I was checked mate by my uncle. And there’s nothing I can do.



I have sacrificed so much in my life hoping that everything will be alright after but it was not an assurance that you cant blame to God. He had better plans for us and I believed that’s true though for now it’s not as clear as drinking water. I do believe that someday in His time it will fall into their proper places.



As of now, I am still here alive and striving for a better life that my mom once dreamed for me. I know that somewhere far from here she is watching over me and though it is not like before, she always guides in what I do.



I wrote this note not to be one of your idols or to achieve your affection for me nor to have fame for what I have done. I simply wrote this note to ease the pain that someone maybe feeling the same as mine now. Just believe in Him above…cause he won’t let us to be checked mate by these hardships.



“Another fight uncle?”



“Sure why not!!!”



“This time I won’t let you do that again!!!”



“Let’s see…”



----dadie



***Regards to my friends: ABES of advance logic 2006, DOTA Boys of IV-5, sa anak ko at saka sa asawa nya, dun sa 3 chikboy na kagrup ko sa control(babanggitin ko ba mga names nyo?!!!hahah!!!), SONS, kay joana na iyakin, oist text nyo ko kung my update sa msevents ah~!!!SCSI Batch 2005-2006, UITM-USTVC, and to all IV-5 killa nyo na kung sinu sino kau!!!

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